The Looking Glass

One of the impetuses to start blogging again and kick my own butt into action was the realization that I had perhaps become too comfortable on many levels.  I was perfectly content to stay in comfortable clothing (preferably fleece or flannel), and spend days on end with my nose stuck in a tablet. Not only was I in a social comfortability rut, but I was also in a physical comfortability rut.

Now in my mind this physical comfort was justified as having reached a point in life where I did not have to impress anyone.  There was nobody, after all, to either compliment or condemn how I chose to window dress myself or my life.  I could be my authentic self, warts and all, and be darn comfortable doing it.  While fleece and flannel have their place in life, and justifiably so, today I realized that if my life were a movie, it would probably be The Muppet Movie, and I would be played by Beauregard instead of Miss Piggy.

And as if the happiness angels were looking down on me to offer food for thought, today’s entry in Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy contains this little gem:

“It does take more effort to set an inviting table, but it enhances our enjoyment of eating. We all feel better when we take those few extra minutes to fix our hair and put on makeup, but what’s more, we act different. Every actress knows the magic power of props and costumes to create special moods both onstage and off.

None of us can be expected to perform every minute of our lives. But a lot of us might tap into the power, excitement, and glory of Real Life more frequently if we cast ourselves as the leading ladies in our own lives.”

The question becomes then, does physical window dressing need to play a role in my happiness experiment, and if so, what does that look like in terms of a trial resolution?  Do I wear pearls to cook dinner ala Julia Child?  Or does that mean I not venture outside the front door in pants that don’t require a zipper?  How do I balance the excesses implied in window dressing, when minimalism also supposedly brings joy?  Maybe I wear pearls with the sweatpants?

Is it just me being my authentic self that I just don’t care about dressing up for life, or is it a defense mechanism that just makes me more socially insular and keeps me in my physically comfortable rut?  Is it just another safe way of not putting myself out there?  When is a rut a rut?

It turns out that this is a tough one to sort out.

Two Resolutions Explored

Today I would like to discuss two of the resolutions I presented yesterday:

• Act energetic, even if you’re not
• Get rid of clutter

Both of these were explored to some degree today.  I’d like to tell you about that, and about what I learned in the process.  But first, a couple of nuggets of background information:

1. I am forever losing my glasses. Today ended my longest stretch without finding them, at about four days.
2. My dog can be an a**hole. She is snuggly, and cute, and adorable, but she is rather indiscriminate in her chewing habits.  No sock, or paper, or pencil, or bottlecap, or (insert any random object) is safe.  This can be incredibly annoying.

Today was the end of an extended holiday for me.  This “holiday” from one job involved working a few extra shifts at the other job.  So this morning I faced the sad truth that either through working or from holiday fatigue I had not managed to accomplish much of anything on my holiday project list.  The fridge was full of holiday food too old to eat. The tree still stood in the living room, so crisp that ornaments regularly just dropped off as dog chew toys, and a trail of pine needles marked a path through the rest of the house.  That tree needed to go.  In addition to this, holiday clutter sort of took over the rest of our home, and I found myself feeling that stress and with no idea where to find my glasses, a single purple glove, and an important vial of medication.

Despite the pressing need to address these things, and my last free day to do it, I did NOT feel one bit motivated to do much beyond read. So, I forced myself to go through the fridge and plow through the tree dismantling process anyway.  I decided reading could be my reward for the completed tasks.  I tossed, and dismantled, and packed, and stored, and swept, and vacuumed.  Until I couldn’t.  Because a certain weiner dog, who shall remain nameless, had hidden a random dish cloth behind the curtain, and it had clogged my vacuum.

But now, as I stand back and survey what I got done today, and how slowly my home is returning to a state of livability, I feel great.  I did not have the energy to work on it, but now I certainly see the wisdom of acting energetic even when I’m not. There is a momentum that can happen.  I need to make this part of the happiness process.

As a bonus, during the work of the day I actually found my glasses.  They were hidden in plain view, of course.  I will continue to work on the decluttering if for no other reason than a still missing glove and pill vial.  I have no doubt the dog knows where the glove is, but she isn’t talking.

And now, a book awaits.

The Possibilities

As I await my books and finalize my plan, I have been scanning some online sources and realizing that I already have a basis in mind for how I think I want to venture into this project.  Essentially, I think there will be a few fundamental threads to work on continually, and resolutions will be added to the mix and explored as the year goes on.

The Foundation:

• Be thankful. Start a gratitude journal.  Really contemplate blessings.  Become more conscious of how much went into bringing them into your life. Give thanks.
• Be careful with money.   Think about how you spend. Cut wasteful spending (where quality is not compromised).
• Be creative. Doodle, write, cook, do…. Always be working on something.
• Be healthy. Practice self care.  Sleep enough.  Eat good things.  Stimulate the mind.
• Be playful. Try new things.  Get out of the house.  Laugh more.
• Be organized. Clear the clutter.

As luck would have it the internet has already created a plethora of resolution options to help me on my way.  I have gathered some common recommendations, and categorized them generally to make them easier to navigate.  Please note that some of these are already doomed resolutions (eg., sleep more) but are included so they are duly considered, and they perhaps might be useful to anyone considering their own project:

Spirit

• Keep a gratitude journal
• Write affirmations daily
• Practice doing acts of kindness
• Encourage others
• Learn to meditate
• Offer assistance to others
• Drop negative people from your life
• Share what you have
• Volunteer
• Take the time to reflect
• Forgive (this includes yourself)

Attitude

• Act energetic, even if you’re not
• Don’t complain
• Don’t gossip
• Sing in the morning
• Be polite
• Laugh out loud
• Ask for help

Relationships

• Meet new people
• Connect with friends (don’t just say you will) and really be present
• Show your love & appreciation
• Compliment someone every day
• Engage with people in real life more than email/text/social media

Money

• Start a business
• Prepare a plan to get rid of debt
• Making saving a habit (eg., $x per week/cheque)
• Splurge only occasionally

Work

• Explore what your passionate about, and seek work in that area
• Dress & behave for the job you want
• Better yourself professionally
• Build connections/network
• Lift your head. Take a break.  Walk away for a few minutes and have a conversation.
• Find a mentor

Creativity

• Write a novel
• Blog
• Master a new technology
• Redecorate on a budget
• Do something usual in an unusual way
• Master a culinary skill

Health

• Go to sleep earlier
• Exercise better/more/at all
• Drink more water
• Make better food choices/Keep a food journal

Fun

• Get out of the house and try something new
• Learn something to develop a skill you’ve always wanted
• Explore some place new (or even just where you live)
• Make time to be silly
• Read often/more

Space

• Get rid of clutter. Donate, toss, or remove unnecessary things.
• Repair what’s broken
• Create a peaceful space to retreat to
• Make your bed

So… what will I chose?  And what effect will all this have on my overall happiness?  I’m glad you’re here with me to find out.

xo

Let’s Get This Party Started

Today is the first day of 2017.  And a new year is a perfect time for all those good intentions waiting to be actualized into reality.  A fresh page.  A new start.

Unfortunately my track record of resolutions is not that stellar.  While I love the anticipation of hope that comes with a new year, for some reason historically I don’t much get beyond January in follow through.  This year I hope that (and may other things) will change.

I started out with a simple resolution to write more in 2017.  There was a time in my life where I blogged fairly regularly, and I enjoyed it.  It was my happy place.  Then life lost a bit of its happy for a while, and energy was redirected to other things. So I started to think about that time, and where I am now, and I came to a few personal revelations:

• First, my life looks nothing like it did then. I am no longer married. My children are old enough to consent to what I might write about our life, so there is no longer as much need to be anonymous.
• I feel a gazillion years older than I did then, even though it really wasn’t that long ago.
• I seem to have settled into a bit of a stagnant place, where there are sweatpants but no exercise, more Netflix and fewer books, more cozy and no adventure. Essentially, while I am not at all bored, I am a little boring.

This lead to the dawning  realization that if I did not live my life and get out of my comfy chair more, I would not actually have anything to write about.

I feel extremely blessed in life.  I am happy.  But I realized that my resolution to write more could be a project that grows me as an individual, and there is room for me to more tangibly embrace this great life.  This blog will journal my personal happiness project.

To assist me map out this journey, I have ordered three books that I am hoping will help me navigate the next 365 days:

• A Year Of Writing Dangerously: 365 Days of Inspiration and Encouragement by Barbara Abercrombie
• The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
• You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

I haven’t received them yet, but I am hoping to get my happiness project planned out soon with very concrete examples of things that I will need to address. I already have a sense that my tasks will include stretching myself to learn something new, meeting new people (this one personally scares me most), and uncluttering my life. (I am open to suggestion for resolutions).

I don’t know how this will unfold, my friends, but I am happy to be here. And I am grateful you might stop here to check on my journey from time to time.

May your year be more wonderful than you can imagine. And may you imagine great things.